The single bit of advice I give to more clients professionally, and more friends personally, I learned from Janet Jackson.
We all remember Janet’s “wardrobe malfunction” during the halftime show of Super Bowl XXXVIII in 2004: While finishing up a gyration-rich performance with Justin Timberlake, she and the former boy-bander interacted in such a way that her breast was exposed. Given that football’s championship game is not exactly premium cable, but more family fare, the masses went apoplectic, monsooning the NFL, CBS (which aired the game) and the FCC (which fined CBS) with complaints.
Do you remember Janet’s response to the furor? She said: “I’m really sorry if I offended anyone.”
Read that again. Not “I’m sorry I exposed my northerly goodies to your kids and grandparents.” Not “I’m sorry the stunt Justin and I planned was in poor taste.” Not even just “I’m sorry.” She said she was sorry IF anyone was offended.
And that’s the lesson Janet Jackson taught me I’ve passed along for the last 12 years to anybody who’ll listen. Apologies aren’t sincere if they contain the word “if.” And you will earn major PR (or spouse, if it’s personal rather than professional) points if you don’t compound a screw up with a Janet Jackson Apology.
Think about it. When’s the last time you heard someone the media has cause to chase around with a microphone offer a no ifs, ands or buts “I’m sorry”? It’s exceedingly rare, because as a society we’ve come to view admitting a mistake as weakness. It is anything but. Not only does it take fortitude of character to acknowledge a wrong, it will resonate with your audience precisely because it is so rare. You will earn points, not lose them, for having the guts and integrity to raise your hand and take the foul.
Quickly, here’s the anatomy of a good apology, in public or private relations: 1) as already discussed, no ifs, ands or buts — own it; 2) be specific about what you’re sorry for — and indicate you know that what you did was irresponsible or immature or dangerous or whatever makes it something you have to apologize for; and 3) go the extra mile and ask for forgiveness. Bundle those together and you’ll also be better insulated from shouts of “you’re only sorry you got caught” or criticism that you’re just rotely saying the words to get yourself off the hook.
Thanks for the wisdom, Janet. Or Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty.
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